berhenti itu percuma.

You learn about love from unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. If there's one thing that I know is true about myself, I have no doubt that I'm a complete idiot when it comes to falling for someone. It's a complete falling from the top, thus, when I hit the rock bottom.. I break myself into pieces. Sakit? Iya. Dari situ saya belajar defensif. Belajar berhenti jatuh cinta. Belajar melupakan. Belajar menggunakan otak. Tapi, saya melupakan satu fakta penting. Jatuh cinta, pada orang-orang lain yang mungkin tidak kamu sadari. Awalnya, berbagi. Call me an asshole, because I am. I start to build friendship by the time I lose my only trusted friend. My boyfriend. I learned to make friend very late, didn't I? Dan demi tuhan, tidak pernah sekalipun saya tahu, kalau menyayangi seseorang bisa demikian mudah. I have several names, which, are the most special person in my life. I have a soft spot for them. I would cry when they get hurt (which I did). And I would be happy, if they're happy. Aside from my family, being with them is the treasure I would always pursue. Saya jatuh cinta kepada mereka tanpa saya sadari. Dan tiba-tiba, mereka sudah jadi orang-orang penting dalam hidup saya. I let them in, and no, I would never let them go. Ever. They're not always around, but I know better, that distance means nothing. When you split secrets, your deepest pain and past, you split a piece of you and give it to them. I learn that giving love is never hurt. I never change. I'm still the same person that would love wholeheartedly. It's in my blood. So I let myself fall for my best friends. And the weirdest thing is.. I stop asking back. I completely forgot about equality in relationship. Here comes the truth.. You have to love, and love, and love to find that simple happiness. Semakin saya menyayangi seseorang dan melupakan tentang kehilangan dan kepemilikan, semakin saya bahagia. I'm happy just by seeing Kriww in her most special day. I'm happy just by leaning my head in Mbak Ska's shoulder. I'm happy having nowhere conversation with Edo. I'm happy listening to Khaafi's stories. I'm happy teasing Mbem about his stomach. I'm happy seeing Nyo2 bubbling about anything. I'm happy just by reading Roid's tweets. And I'm ecstatic hearing Kodin's news.

 And many, many other names that never fail to make me feel warm. I'm happy when they need me, share some stories, knock into my window, or simply say hi. If this isn't love, then I don't know what to call this. 

Hey, stranger. Kamu sekeping gravitasi yang muncul untuk selalu mengingatkan aku lagi, Sekuat apapun aku mencoba, akan ada selalu jatuh yang sama. Kalaupun lewat saatnya, terima kasih. Kamu membuatku tahu, selalu ada ruang untuk dibentang, sayang untuk diberikan. Hatiku hanya pinjaman. Cinta yang ruah ini kita semua tahu asalnya dari mana. Kalau titik ini hanya lintasan, kamu Aldebaran yang menuntunku pulang. Tentang sebuah kenyataan, kalau aku hanya tahu mencintai sepenuh hati. Tapi bukan untuk menggantung dan menyandarkan diri. Sebuah hati yang sama, dengan kesadaran berbeda. Akan selalu ada titik-titik pelangi seperti ini. Aku hanya perlu memberi sepenuh hati, itu saja.