A break too long.

It was started when, i dont know. 

I dont even know. 

But lies had been shoved into me, i have a hard time distinguish them with the real truth. 

And then i was four,or three? 

the tangy taste inside my little tongue, shoving the reality into me while i barely understand the word life itself. But i do remember too well. and too much. 

I just didnt understand, at that time.

I think i still dont understand, though. 

And then i walked the path, sometimes i chose it, sometimes it chose me.

Having whatever normality a girl can grasp, while showing the world indifference. 

Because i was so proud and so damn determined to show the world "in your face".

A not so subtle slam i unconsciously build inside me.

How was i supposed to know, that years after years after years things could go back, haunting you? 

How was i supposed to know, that years after years everything you do, spinning around those moments? And still, how much you despise it, you have nothing to blame on. 

It was all in you. 

You have nowhere to talk to, 

Because the one you should trust at the first time, is the one that create your whole life based on a lie. 

I choke it back. I struggle to shove it inside me. 

Because none of them matters, 

Because none of them matters. 

Because none of them matters!!! 

Because none of them matters, right?