Get hurt.

Gue itu, termasuk orang yang gampang maafin orang kalo seseorang itu bikin salah ma gue.
Tapi, tidak untuk dikecewakan.
Apa bedanya?
Gue ga tau ya, tapi, IMHO, dikecewakan itu adalah saat gue memiliki semacam ekspektasi/ harapan tertentu dari orang itu, dan ternyata meleset. Itu, gue suka susah lupa. Sama kaya Mba Ska, forgiven, not forgotten.
Tapi kalo dia accidentally, atau mungkin intentionally bikin salah, dan itu came out of nowhere, gue gampang lupa/maafinnya.
Nggak tau, ini karena gue orangnya punya short term memory loss atau gimana, tapi bahkan orang yang salahnya terhitung sangat gede, dan lumayan fatal pun, gue bisa maafin. Sama sekali ga ada dendam, ataupun bekas.
Tapi kalo buat dikecewakan, itu.. ngebekas. I get hurt by that.
Aneh ya?
Karena itu awalnya gue belajar buat enggak berharap apa apa. Kalo sama temen yang ga terlalu deket si gapapa.
Yang susah, begitu seseorang masuk ke dalam circle gue, kalo gue berharap sesuatu dari dia dan dikecewakan, itu bakal ngebekas banget. I still could get along very well, tapi bakal ada yang berubah.
Karena, normally, ketika kita dekat dengan seseorang, buat gue, itu karena gue suka, gue "cocok", gue nyambung, gue merasa, oh, ini dia, and that is how i let people in.
Gue gampang akrab, gampang percaya, gampang cerita, just like an open book, you might say.
Guess what? im not that "open".
Hanya sedikittt sekali, orang yang bener bener ada dalam lingkaran yang gue bikin ini, yang bener bener tau gue luar dalam. Not even my family.
I split secrets between my best-best-best-est friend and, my (ex) bf. Kepada merekalah, gue selalu barharap (banyak). Gue berharap mereka selalu ada, selalu mendukung, selalu menjadi diri mereka seperti sekarang, as they are to me.
Dan sama seperti berinvestasi. Gue gak pernah menaruh semua rahasia gue dalam satu orang. I did, once. Gue berharap sangat banyak dari orang yang, notabene adalah the only my-whole-secrets keeper. He left me, and i got hurt, the most painful wound i'd ever suffered.

But then again, gue belajar lagi satu hal, dikecewakan/ disakiti oleh seseorang adalah suatu pelajaran. Sama seperti dua sisi mata uang, you won't be feeling as happy and grateful as what you are feeling now, if u never get hurt.
Once you arrived at some happy point, this is how you will be thinking about get hurt.

It's like all of the bad stuff that you went through that you hated along the way: the people who disappointed you, the things that didn't go the way you wanted; suddenly, you feel grateful to them, because those are the things that got you to here, to this.( Adam Forrest-The Perfect Man)

Karena itu, jangan takut buat berharap (lagi). Being hurt is just fine, sama seperti disuntik, it will be hurt at the beginning, and then you might be suffering fever, but the truth is, it is a cure.
An antibody for yourself.
Being hurt will make you stronger than before, wiser, more grateful for everything you have, less stupid, and much, much happier than anybody who never get hurt. I wont stop my self from hoping good things and letting new people in. That way, we could continue to live.